Who Lurks?

First off, I want to thank everyone who got me to this point of being able to write the recap for having the highest point total of the week in the Who Lurks football league. I want to thank my Mom, my Dad, my wife, my Auction League Draft mentor, Chris Morales and for all of you for not out-bidding me for Tom Brady and Wes Welker.

Now, onto the recap:


Dick's Sporting Goods - 163...Goodell's Minions - 109
My team, Dick's Sporting Goods was able to outlast Goodell's Minions by the score of 163-109. I got lucky since Vick had a bad game, but the fact that one of my favorite players of all time, L.T. single-handily kept Goodell in the game had me scared. Oregon's Ed Dickson also had me a tad bit scared, but luckily for me, Vick and Britt both got hurt, therefore I was able to coast to the victory. Didn't hurt that San Mateo's Tom Brady to Wes Welker had like 5,000,433,000 points between the two of them and Bradshaw and Addai...two of who I thought were my weak link RB's, all had a good game. Oh, and the fact that Brady kept throwing to everyone BUT Deion Branch only helped my cause.

One Man Gang - 161....Alex Morgan Hottie - 96
One Man Gang made Alex Morgan Hottie look more like Martina Navratilova or Lindsey Davenport this week. When Ryan Matthews and Arizona's Rob Gronkowski combine for over 54 points and Matthew Stafford, who surprisingly hasn't gotten hurt yet turns into this season's Aaron Rodgers, it's not a shock that the Commish went down for the third straight week. The positive news is that Mr. Morales is in the lead for the "Suck for Luck" sweepstakes to get the #1 pick in the draft next year. And of course we all know that the best QB's and players come from the Pac-16, the soon to be best conference in college football. In terms of Chris's team...you know it was a bad week when your leading scorer was Daniel Thomas. Who the hell is that?! Oh, and his kicker, Ryan Lindell scored more than Romo, Harvin, Gore and Chris Johnson...that is never a good thing.

Heat Seeking Nipple - 133....My Vick Hurts - 115
The New Orleans Heat Seeking Nipple Saints pulled out a close victory over My Vick Hurts, 133-115. Nipple rode the Saints to the win with Brees, Lance Moore and Pierre Thomas combining to score a ton of points. All he was missing was Deuce McAllister, Joe Horn and Bobby Hebert in his lineup! It also helped Nipple that Sea Bass got 13 points and Cal's own Javhid Best got him double digit scoring. My Vick Hurts kept it close with "Do you want to know why they call me Big Ben?" and Mike Wallace having a great game, but with Gates not playing and giving Vick a goose egg at the tight end spot, and his best RB DeAngelo Williams running in a monsoon, it was tough to come back and win.

Tebow's Sluts - 152...Yankees Suck - 112
In a highly entertaining contest, Tebow's Sluts got double digit scoring from everyone but Michael Turner. This team is as deep as one of Tebow's sluts, literally. It worked out perfectly that Tebow had Jennings and Jermichael Finley going while his opponent had the best QB in the league going in Cal's Aaron Rodgers. It also helped that the biggest cheater ever, Cam Newton had a turnover free game. LsSean Mccoy's strong game couldn't offset poor showings by Rashard Mendenhall (is his bad season karma for his 9/11 comments?) and Hines Ward (is he having a bad season because of the Dancing with the Stars jinx?). While I do agree that the Yankees Suck, this week, it was Tebow getting sucked by pulling away for the big win.

Zapp Branigan - 116....Who Dat Nation - 100
I had to double take this one real quick as a winning team had Chad Henne on it. But when you have Megatron on your team, you are capable of winning any week. This was the battle of the owners who didn't do research on their lineups as Arian Foster and Beanie Wells both sat out their respective games and gave each team a goose egg. Ray Rice and Julio Jones had good games for Zapp, as did Arizona State's Todd Heap. Oh, and Martin Brodeur, Scot Stevens, Claude Lemeiux, Scott Niedermayer and Zach Parise also had big games for Zapp. Who Dat got a huge game from Matt Stump the Schaub, and solid games from Matt Forte and Oregon's LaGarrette Blount, but couldn't overcome the ZERO from Beanie Wells and the bad games from Crabtree and LSU's Devery Henderson. Quick question, does LSU ever produce any NFL Superstars?! And JaMarcus Russell doesn’t count.

The Turd Fergusons - 126....LA Terps - 69
In the blowout of the week, the Fergusons dropped a huge turd on the LA Terps. What can the Terps do when Run DMC and Fred Jackson combine for 57 points and fricken Greg Olson gets you 17! Even Oregon State's Chad Ochocinco got on the board this week! LA Terps' 69 points was hands down, the worst point total of the week. Santonio Holmes (2 points), Zach Miller (1 point), Steve Smith (2 points), and Josh Brown (1 point) added to Terps' woes. Only UCLA's Maurice Jones Drew's 18 points kept this from being over before it started. Hopefully Phillip Rivers will come back strong for the Terps next week. After looking at all of these teams, the Turds is hands down the favorite to win it all...he is stacked and Bradford hasn't even gotten going yet. Watch out for Turd this season!