Who Lurks?

Another week, another 10 bucks for the commish. 10 weeks in the books and I’ve been involved in 6 times in the highest score of the week. 3 against and 3 for my team. This is why I only have 4 wins to show for it… 3 of those 4 is when I outscored everyone. Yet again, this is why I hate fantasy football. Come play baseball people, come to the dark side of fantasy sports.

I don’t have anything funny to say in to lead us into the recap, mostly because I used my material last week. Think about that.

Alex Morgan Hottie (178.40) vs. Goodell’s Minions (78.77)
Alex Morgan put up the 2nd highest score of the season, only behind Brody’s 179.70 performance in week 2. Just a tremendous overall performance, led by… the Chicago Bears defense? Lesson as usual…don’t kick to Devin Hester. Also chipping in with over 20 points each were Tony Romo, Jordy Nelson, DeMarco Murray, and umm Chris Johnson? Entirely too soon to proclaim that CJ is back from the dead. But I will say I had tremendous timing in dealing Frank Gore. Trutch did get 24ish points from Ed Dickson, but nobody else really showed up. This is what happens when you lose by 100 points. All that being said and I’m still out of the playoff picture.

One Man Gang (130.87) vs. Zapp Branigan (119.93)
Gallagher pointed out that him and Berg were proving that quarterback wasn’t the most important position in this league. Now that he said that, both of them lost this week. Good work Gallagher. Brody got a stunning 30 points from Larry Fitz (and equally as stunning road win for the Cardinals) as well as 27 points from Rob Gronk. Can’t say I’m too thrilled with the Gronk because he cost me a victory in another league. Brody also received over 20 points from his free agent pick up Laurent Robinson. Those of you that had Laurent Robinson netting 20 points this week, well, you are smarter than I am. Berg didn’t have a bad week, but Arian Foster can only do so much. And once again, Berg’s starting quarterback in Matt Cassel is out for the season. Thanks for coming to the show. Berg could have pulled off the victory by going with Jacoby Jones instead of Julio Jones, but that would have required the book of records from Back to the Future.

LA Terps (129.23) vs. Yankees Suck (116.43)
Also fun when Michael Bush goes for 33 points on Thursday night. That will get your week off to a nice start, and that’s exactly what Noah had going for him. Bush’s 33 negated the, once again, ridiculous performance by Aaron Rodgers. Joe didn’t have enough fire power with LeSean McCoy not going off this week and not getting enough from the rest of the team. Noah had MJD and the real football terrible but fantasy football relevant Phillip Rivers lead the way as he was able to continue his winning ways. The self proclaimed hottest team in the league is now sitting in 4th place while Joe sits in 6th. I will say this… both of these teams can be anyone any given week assuming they stay healthy. After watching 3 quasi important fantasy starters go down last weekend (Cassel, Schaub, Moreno) anything is possible, just not NBA basketball.

Who Dat Nation (101.17) vs. Turd Furgusons (92.80)
Just when you thought he was out… Hummel goes and takes down the #1 team in the league. 3 weeks left and nobody has clinched a playoff spot and nobody is eliminated….yet. Gallagher’s team was led by Tim Tebow. Yes, apparently completeing 2 passes not only gets the Broncos a victory, but also the highest scoring spot on Gallaghers team. Note that Gallagher did not win, just saying. Who Dat was led by the now useless Matt Schaub. This is what happens when you trust a UVA quarterback. They are bound to let you down and/or not win big games, like when they play their rival from down the road. Just saying…go Hokies. Otherwise, not much to report in this matchup. Each team had 4 guys score in double digits. Not exactly a model of greatness. Hummel is at least not in terrible shape now having to rely on Joe Flacco as his starting quarterback. This is why you want a quality backup…

Tebow’s Sluts (100.37) vs. Heat Seeking Nipple (100.33)
Closest. Matchup. Ever. Curtis texted me tonight asking exactly how .04 of a point happens. I’m assuming it is because of yardage. Nothing else in the league has TENTHS of a point in the league. The sluts got the win because Jermichael Finley did just enough on Monday night to get the victory. Tebow’s Sluts ended up getting solid days from Jimmy Graham…and actually just Jimmy Graham. Cam Newton was around too. Nobody shit the bed, which really made the difference. Curtis had another great week from Drew Brees but his 2nd leading scorer was the kicker. Good news is both of these teams are currently in the playoffs, then again, the sluts are hanging on by a very thin thread. I’m sure I could make a funnier joke out of that, but I actually might have to kill the puppy tonight.

Dick’s Sporting Goods (88.87) vs. My Vick Hurts (58.53)
In the battle of who sucks less, Brent wins by a nose. Brent has Tom Brady, Neal does not. That pretty much sums this one up. Brent got nothing out of DeSean Jackson because Mr. Jackson can’t show up to meetings on purpose. Neal got 14 points from Big Ben… and that was his only double digit scorer this weekend. I actually outscorerd both of these teams…. Combined. Neither of these teams have terrible teams, but holy crap, both of them had everyone shit the bed this weekend. Congrats on having Tom Brady, that’s all that can be said about this one.